The Year is Coming to a Close!

As the year comes to an end many of us become reflective considering the progress we’ve made, the lessons we’ve learned, cherished memories and even milestones. Many of us even bookend the start and end of the year with vision boards, intentions, goal setting and reflection or review. Incorporating some of these traditions can support us in living with intention, moving through the year with purpose, and aligning our values with our actions. These habits can serve as a GPS guide for our year and if we regularly pause to review, we get a sense of where we are on our charted course, potential short cuts, or re-routs, and maybe even detours and new destinations. These practices can be most helpful when we use a “done list”, acknowledging all of our progress and accomplishments, big and small, as well as a “to-do list”. However, these rituals can also create feelings of inadequacy if our only measure is the distance from where we currently are to where we wish to be. That distance, no matter how small, can often obscure the growth and progress that got us to that point. May this be your gentle reminder to always remember that your journey is 100% unique to YOU and comparing your journey to someone else’s is impossible for that very reason. Remember that your perspective has the power to shift your thoughts and feelings about a situation which can lead to creative solutions. Remember to honor the need to create balance between rest and productivity. Remember to celebrate each step forward, because each step, no matter how small, gets you closer to your destination. Remember that NOW is the only time that you are guaranteed. Do not wait to pursue the goal, invest in the relationship, tell your loved ones how you feel, or take that leap of faith because if you wait you may never get the chance! May you end this year well and begin 2025 strong. 

Take That Leap…….

Over the past several months I’ve had individuals who are in my inner circle share with me their identified purpose or a passion or dream that feels important to them and that they want to pursue. First I just want to say how valuable it can be to feel connected to a purpose, passion, calling. Whatever you “name” it, the end result is a life infused with meaning which can be tied to overall quality of life. At the end of the day who doesn’t want to live their best life and dig deep to realize ALL of their potential?

The challenge that every friend of mine experienced was one of feeling stuck. They all knew exactly what it was that they wanted to accomplish. However, for those with a purpose/passion off the beaten path, there is no guide book, no paved road that can be easily followed. Feeling stuck can also come from feeling overwhelmed and busy with day to day demands on our time and energy. This can make it feel like there is no time or space to pursue that dream. Some dreams can feel so big that we talk ourselves out of them before we even get started. All of these challenges, little time or energy, no direction, and feeling like your dream is too big can leave us feeling paralyzed.

I want to share with you some encouraging words and strategies that have been shared with me and that proved to be incredibly useful when I’ve experienced feeling stuck for one or more of these reasons. First I’ll share a quote that has continued to inspire me at the various stages of pursuing a dream. Abel Morales said “ when it feels scary to jump, thats’s exactly when you jump. Otherwise you end up staying in the same place your whole life. And that I cannot do”. That first step off of the “cliff” is the scariest one for me and it can feel like you are indeed falling off of a cliff after you take it. Second, starting small has been incredibly helpful. I’m a working mom of 2 and I have a TON of other demands on my time but I’ve always been able to carve out at least 5-10 minutes a day to intentionally build my dream. That may mean waking up before the household when it’s quiet, or staying up late until everyone is asleep. It’s meant leaving laundry unfinished and dishes in the sink. I’ve learned to give myself grace with those unfinished tasks and ask for help when I need it too. Third, after taking that first step off of the cliff I’ve had that feeling of immobility because I didn’t know what direction to move in. Taking my eyes off of the end goal and choosing to focus only on the very next step, rather than the next 100 steps, helped me to create momentum. It’s kind of like climbing a 14er. If you constantly look at the summit you’re likely to injure yourself because you don’t see what’s in front of you and you’re only able to see the enormity of the task ahead. You don’t get to celebrate the little wins along the way.

I hope that after reading this you feel inspired to invest in YOU, to pour into your passions and dreams. Whether it’s creating more quality moments with your family, creating intentional and authentic friendships, starting a business or podcast, building a dream home, planting a garden, learning something new, creating art or music, you are worthy of your dream and you are more capable than you know.

Comparison and Perception

The body is absolutely incredible. If we get a superficial cut or wound our bodies essentially create their own bandaid in the form of a scab and then as the healing process continues we have new skin. We don’t have to think about the fact that the heart continuously pumps blood and beats an average of 100,000 times a day (heart and stroke). Our skin cells replace themselves every 2-4 weeks, our liver renews its cells every 150-500 days (Howstuffworks). I could go on and on and on………

I share all of this because even though I know how incredible my body is, I still struggle with body image and fully accepting my body as it is. There are so many factors that can contribute to my perception of my body from culture, the environment I grew up in, my personal experiences etc. What I know is that much of what I have allowed to inform my view of my body, and many other things,  comes from “outside” of me. I didn’t create and I don’t agree with what culture/society portrays as acceptable or visually appealing or this constantly evolving, shifting, and changing criteria for mainstream “beauty”.

What I’m learning is that I get to choose which voices I allow to impact my perception. Will I allow those external voices to be louder and more impactful than my internal voice? Will I fall into the trap of comparison as a result of listening to those outside voices? Or, will I create my own narrative because I choose to be still enough to distill all of the “noise” and filter out MY voice, my values, myself? The third option is what I’m currently working on and it’s a process. It’s a process because not only am I learning this new way of thinking and being, but I’m unlearning comparing myself to others. I’m unlearning allowing the opinions of others to bolster or diminish my self esteem. I’m unlearning the idea that my identity, value, worth, is somehow dependent on how I measure up to my perception of those around me.

Perception of ourselves and others can impact how we view ourselves as parents, partners, employees, even in terms of our level of success. I had a recent experience as a parent that highlights this idea. At the beginning of the school year I was inundated with emails for both my kids. I didn’t read all of them and the ones that I did read I did more of a quick skim for important information. Inevitably, I missed some information and my internal dialogue was a judgemental one. When another mom shared an important event with me that I was clueless about I thought “this woman probably thinks I’m a mom who doesn’t care about my child’s education, she probably thinks I’m not at all involved in their lives. School is after all a HUGE part of my children’s lives right now”. I realized that I was allowing my perception of another mom’s perception to narrate my internal dialogue. I’m not a psychic or mind reader, those are not my skill set, so you see how unreasonable this thought process was.  It was at that moment that I asked myself “how do I define a great parent and what values in this arena are most important to me?”. So, I made a list of values and came up with, what good parenting means to me and guess what? Reading every school email thoroughly and keeping up with every single school event was not on that list. Quality time, connection, creating a space where my kids feel seen, loved, heard and accepted, those are the things that made my list.

So when I find myself feeling inadequate or comparing my body, my parenting, my work, my home, I pause and check in with my values and make my own definition of success in that arena. A definition that is authentic to who I am and who I’m striving to be; one that is in alignment with my core values, and that will help me continue to grow into the human that I’m evolving into. I hope that this is a reminder that you get to direct the narrative of your life and that your worth, your value is priceless and unchanging no matter what you may be walking through in this season of life. 

How a healthy heart works | Heart and Stroke Foundation | Heart and Stroke Foundation

Does Your Body Really Replace Itself Every Seven Years? | HowStuffWorks

The Makarios Project Origin Story

The Makarios Project was born as a result of my own cumulative experiences. I worked in the behavioral health field for nearly a decade before I saw just how important the need for preventative services was and is. My roles throughout my career ranged from working in the inpatient setting, facilitating intensive outpatient programs, and providing home-based therapy.

It wasn’t until I transitioned to working in the field of organ and tissue donation that I saw consistently just how urgent the need for access to mental health services and support truly was. In this role I received referrals for potential organ/tissue candidates that had died by suicide. Many of these individuals were quite young between the ages of 10-32.

In the same year that I’d transitioned to working in this role not one, not two, but three of my friends confided in me that their child had made statements like “I want to die”, “I wish I wasn’t alive” and “I should just kill myself”. At this point I knew that I NEEDED to do something, but I didn’t know what my first step should be, let alone how to help.

As I thought about how to make an impact and support youth and communities in optimizing mental wellbeing, cultivating resilience, and normalizing and educating individuals surrounding mental health I had an “aha” moment. I realized that often, it’s not until after a crisis, trauma, mental health challenge or diagnosis that mental health services and support are offered, sought out, and accessed.

There was a gap! We often hear about preventative steps we can take to ensure our physical health and longevity, but we don’t hear that same dialogue when it comes to our mental wellbeing. Unless, that is, you find yourself in an AA meeting, an inpatient psychiatric hospital, an intensive outpatient group, or across from a skilled therapist/counselor. My first step would be bringing the psychoeducational information, skills, and resources that are typically only accessed in these spaces to the general public.

That is exactly what I’m doing through The Makarios Project. It’s important to me to offer these valuable tools and resources to the community at large so that youth specifically but also adults, seniors and everyone in between feels equipped to optimize their overall wellbeing and experience the best possible quality of life.